2005-01-04
Welcome Back
Wow.
I've been gone awhile!
I was sick and then on vacation and now I'm sick again.
And I had no idea how much Robitussin can fuck you up. I am high and I am at work and I seriously feel like I just mixed some kind of Marilyn Monroe cocktail of uppers, dowers, arounders, and whiskey because I am FUCKED UP.
I have tons of stuff to write about and tons of things that I have been thinking and feeling but I can't really even translate all of it right now.
I spent a long time with my parents and feel weirdly healthy and mature.
Even the way I dress has changed subtly. Most importantly, the way I think about myself is changing and I like it. I feel whole and healthy and for me that's like...
unheard of.
I'm going to have to write a lot of essays to get all of what I've learned in the last huge weeks out and into my full understanding.
I am full of peace, despite some actually scarey and challanging things that have happened to me and to some people who I love. I'll write it all out here, I will, but for now, I want to savor this feeling of being real and functional and I also want to hide out and let the fucking couch medicine wear off a little because I am fucking LOOPY.
I need more coffee and the good luck that will allow nobody to approach me in the next hour or so.
I'm not coughing but I can't feel my lips.
arizonasarah at 9:39 a.m.