Cubicle Coping

I want so badly, from my cubicle, to believe that my life is vastly different from yours. I'm going to see The Dukes of Hazzard, starring the inimitable Jessica Simpson. If I believed what's going on in my head about the magnitude of this event, you would think that I am going to a premier; like, "Oh well, I guess I'll wrap up this spreadsheet and get going - big night tonight what with the red carpet and all. Sigh. I can't even carry my cell phone - no cameras in the theatre."

I've been waiting for almost a year for someone to drop by and casually go, "Ummmm... is it true that your ex played Washington D.C. PRIDE last year and you were mentioned in the Metro Weekly?"
And I would turn slowly away from my form letter-writing and smile a shy smile, "Ye-es. It's true."
The awed co-worker would then allow a deluge of questions to fall at my desk and I'd take out an old picture or something - show them the little leather jacket dykey key chain that the rock star sent to me last summer from Chicago.
In my alternate reality, it is this slightly-closer-to-famous edge that is the reason why peope stand a little apart from me at the monthly company social. It's why my cubie buddies don't ask me what I'm doing for the weekend. They know I'm not cleaning the bathroom and doing the laundry. I'm floating in a pool or combing the racks of Buffalo to come up with the Next Big Tucson Fashion Thing. The people I work with know that I am Single and Special and that's why they don't expect me to go to happy hour - they know that I have to be at a downtown art opening.

Everybody has to have fantasies that they live during the day. Religion is kind of like a fantasy to get you through - God is watching, so you better acknowledge and pray. Having a family can be a fnatasy, too. It's a way for you to live through other people, not just with them.
Is it daydreaming or delusional or just funny, creative ways to get through the day?
Who's to say.
When it's all said and done, it doesn't matter what the fantasy is; it matter that you are lucky enough to know that not everything all day long is exactly as it appears to the people around you.
Sometimes, it's only as it appears to you.

arizonasarah at 3:49 p.m.

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