The Proposal Every Girl Dreams About

It's difficult to be inspired every day and I hate the idea of throwing up some crappy essay about how I feel or what cute thing my dog did the other day.
At the same time, I feel like I should be writing every day.
My puplic needs me.
Let them eat cake! But they have to share it with me! I love cake!

"Fuck off, Candy Jones. I have had enough of you. You're really starting to piss me off."
"Well, now you're just hurting me to be hurtful. YOU wanted this relationship. Your mother raised you organic and you do all the damn yoga a girl can do but still, every time I pack my things and move out, you call me up in that little, adorable voice and tell me that you want me back."
"Candy, look, maybe I'm the weaker party in this 'relationship'. Maybe you need to tell me no instead of cancelling your moving plans and curling up in the box under my coffee table!"
"Oh, that's ridiculous. You can't blame me for coming back every time... I don't want this break-up, you do. I am NEVER the one saying, 'Sarah, it's just not working out.' You, on the other chubby hand, come home from work and I can always tell when you're pissed at me. You stare at me like I am some kind of freak and then when you've had enough of trying to assert your power, you ravage me!"
"Candy Jones, that's YOUR perception. I only ravage you because I am an addict and I am powerless to you and you should have a lit-tle more respect... I mean, hell? You know me. You've known me since I was 8 years old and riding my bike up to Hucks to meet you for Laffy Taffys and Lic-M-Aids, so don't EVEN try to tell me that you can't understand where I am in all of this mess that we've made. Together."
You and I?
We're good. I make you feel like a natural woman and you make me feel like I am needed, courageous even, in the face of your darkest, lonliest hours. Who's there for you? Hmmm? Who's always there for you honey? It's not your mom. It's not your cats. Who's the only person who loves you?"
"You are, Candy Jones. You are.
Candy Jones, do you really love me? Sometimes I just feel...
I don't know...
wow this is hard.
I guess I sometimes feel like you just want me to want you and the minute I don't need you so much, you are long gone."
We both start crying.
"Oh Sarah, I love you more than anyone in the world and I wouold never leave you if you didn't keep asking me to leave. I HATE it when you dump me out on the curb, I fucking HATE it. I want to curl up in that box under the coffee table and watch reality TV with you for the rest of our lives."
"Our lives?"
"Yes Sarah. OUR lives."
"Oh Candy Jones, are you doing what I think you're doing."
We turn to face each other and Candy Jones drops to one knee.
"Sarah, will you make me the happiest Candy in the world and be my loving companion until the end of time?"
"Yes!!!!!!!!! Oh yes Candy Jones, I WILL marry you!!!!! I love you so much! Let's call our parents!"

arizonasarah at 2:04 p.m.

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