2005-06-20

Wishes ala Oprah

Welcome to the jungle, It gets worse here everyday. You learn to live like an animal...

My animals are not learning to live together and it is becoming an Issue with a capitol I.
First of all, the kitties are acting out. One of them has decided that eating is a useless endeavor, a waste of her time, and exceedingly unecessary under the current conditions. Grace has gone from being a vibrant, hilarious pet to acting like a POW awaiting military tribunal. She's starving herself in solidarity with some cause that I can't name. She looks terrible and she won't stop doing this funktified meowling. It's wrenching to listen to - she does it when she sees me walk into my bedroom and as I am lying down to sleep. Then she bolts from the closet to the window and leaves. Every morning, she come back to the window and bolts from the window to the closet. It's so sad. I mean, I'm sure she's eating whatever she kills at night but the shrieking is, at times, horrifying. It's also hot out there and the babies want to be in the cool cement house and who can blame them for that?

I finally decided this morning that Rosie will be put in the bathroom with her bed and her bowl and her toys. Maggie and Grace are stuck inside for 7 straight days. The longest that I've held them captive in the house is 3 days and I am hoping that with a longer period of time and some tweaking of the arrangement, Grace will take a break from her fast and her bawling and walk around her home and learn that everything is okay. Rosie being in the bathroom during the day is also good because We are starting to go house-broken on her ass and why not confine daytime accidents to one room? Lots of people crate train for housebreaking but honestly? Crate training resulted in these horrible chimpanzee screams from the poor dog... I think the bathroom is a much better alternative and I think she'll figure out pretty quickly where the new locale is for pee and poo.

Speaking of poo, I've arrived at, pun intended, problem number 2. Maggie took a poo in the most inappropriate place that I can think of. I only know that it was Maggie because I WALKED IN ON HER.
It made me cry, actually. I sobbed to my neighbor and later sobbed at Kirtan. Trying to chant with tears and sniffles and a shuddering voice is harder than it seems at first thought.
And the whole time, this adorable, sweet, gentle doglet is following me around with the sweetest smile and the most loving wide eyes and I just want to scoop her up and eat her for dessert.

How can Maggie and Grace hate her so much?

Will my newly improved forcible environment teach everyone to get along?
Can I really part with her?

I feel empty and irresponsible.

But there's no way I could have predicted poo on the bed and feral screaming.
Fuck, I can't stop crying about this. I want to spend every, single second that I can with them, listening for the slightest change and relaxation that the cats might show to me. I need for them to give me a sign that this is going to be okay; that they are going to be okay.
I need for them all to be accepting and respectful, the way they used to be.

*sigh*
I need this hunch of mine, the one saying, "Do not let anyone outside for 7 days."; I need this hunch to be right and to give me, by the end of 7 days, proof that these pets can live together.

Here is my dorky, open plea to G-Love and Maggie Sauce:
"Girls, PLEASE pull it together. I miss you being my big, soft sleeping companions and feeling you purr on my feet. I love Rosie, though, differently than I love you but I love her all the same. She is so fun and she gets me to leave the house and to get up early and to laugh at her chubby puppy belly. I need all of you -Rosie for her fun exuberance and her protective capabilities and you two for your gentle, meditative peacefulness. Please get yourselves together on this one. I know it can work because I believe.
In you.
Love, Sarah"

Fuck.
Did I seriously just write a letter to my cats on the Internet?
Yes, yes I did.
I have heard people on Oprah say, over and over, that writing down your wishes sends them out that much more strongly into the Universe and so you are that much more likely to see them get breath and life.
I'm trying a little Oprah style today and I am on my kneels, kneeling before the little Baby Jesus and all the angels and saints and the Espiritu Sancto in the hopes that Maggie and Grace will be able to accept the new life that we have. Hopefully writing it down will make my wish come true, post-haste.

By the way, Grantors of Wishes and Such, I have some other things that I'd like to speak with you about, privately. Off the Internet, maybe over coffee or something?
This is an off-day for working out, so I am basically free anytime... just let me know!

arizonasarah at 9:17 a.m.

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