The Pima County Day Spa - Vacation!

Well, it's all done but the MADD Victim Impact Panel.
And the Education.
And the 24 hours in the clink.
And some fees that total more than I make in a month and a half.

Kiddies, regardless of how responsibly you have a drink on a Saturday night, don't go near your Bitchin' Honda, your Super Bug, or your Suburban. I was in a dsicussion with my attorney yesterday and realized that there is no way to be given a fair chance by the police. If I had been obviously drunk and had a high BAC, there would be a whole lot less frustration than what I feel right now.
My experience in this has taught me more than a few things but one important thing that I've learned is that the police and the justice system do not take that "innocent until proven guilty" clause very seriously.

The cop who pulled me over had no more probable cause to do so than the fact that I turned off of the main college bar drag and I turned into the far right lane, rather than the curb-side lane.
Then he falsified a police report and there was no other officer on the scene at that time. And there is no way for me to have any voice, other than the one that goes, "Guilty".

"Guilty, because I can't afford to risk more expenses than the fines and fees I've already incurred."
Now I have a plea bargain that is really not so much a "plea bargain" in the sense that when I think of "plea", I think "have mercy". What I have is a "Shut the hell up you dumbshit - here. Take this token bone and chew on that."

I know that there are people in this world who DO go out and get loaded and then get in their cars. They stagger out of the bar and they miss the keyhole and they sit in the driver's seat for a minute gaining their composure before starting the engine and heading home.
I know that awful things happen as a result of a very irresponsible decision like getting drunk and driving home.
MADD is a powerful lobbying group and has a staff who coordinates victim impact panels, arranges for members to go and sit in the back of a courtroom during trials, and coordinates fundraising efforts to continue the fight for tougher dui laws. If MADD wanted to, they could very easily make drinking and driving totally illegal. Hell, I'm not talking about prohibition but I am talking about the legal limit being .00 with no "You can have one drink per hour." I can prove that mythology wrong: just let me run down and get some paperwork out of my car. Or this one: "I'm having a glass of water between every drink." Great. You're going to pee a lot and when you get fished by the Tucson PD, you can explain yourself in front of a judge and prosecuter but seriously? Don't expect to be heard. MADD has an endless supply of purpose on which to run and could easily make selling and consuming alcohol truly safer for everyone.

I get MADD when I think that a group as powerful as they are could go the distance and lobby for .00 and those of us with half a brain would never break that law.

Too bad that .00 would put MADD out of business, or at least cause the organization to make some major cut-backs... wait a minute! Isn't ending drinking and driving the whole point of MADD?
Yes Sarah, yes it is.
So in order to accompish the goal, MADD would have to go out of business?

Oh so I have your attention? MADD, I have a few things to say:
1. Currently, my underground research assistants tell me that there is a known world of falsification and exaggeration at the intital investigative phase. At the end of The DUI Experience, once you're in front of the judge and so used to being there that you don't cry anymore, at least not in court; most judges don't have regard for what you have to say about your situation. The reasoning is that if you've had one drink, you were impaired and your perception of the traffic stop isn't accurate. Then why have a legal limit at all? YOU have the power to change it to .00. If I can't have one drink and know what is going on, then I can't drive and neither should anyone else. Tell me the rules of the game and I will play by them. As it were, I thought I was following the rules and I am FUCKED.
I can tell you from personal experience, my perception doesn't mean anything compared to the officer's perception. Dude LIED on the police report. And there's nothing I can do about that because while I'm innocent until proven guilty, my observations and re-counting of the night in question can't be accurate. Funny, since I seem to remember a lot more than the officer remembered on his police report.
Thanks Officer! I love to be the victim of authoritative abuse! Thanks MADD for accepting that a little room in the books is fine because then cops can lie and defendents can be forced into a plea bargain and everyone makes a bucket of money! Live the dream, MADD! Fight to get .00 and end your mission. Please.

2. MADD panel participants, does reliving your tragedy several times a year make you feel better? Today is the anniversary of the day my dad's body was found. If I could never relive this day again, I'd be thankful for the rest of my life. I would never chose to become either callous to it or to become driven by it. I can't live in this day full-time. I also can't imagine not only living in it but having it be my purpose.
Purpose to me seems to have a lot more to do with the living than with the dead.

Purpose is so defined for some of us, like Namoli who IS music and so indefinable for others, like me who IS...
hold on, I'm getting to it...
well, nothing springs to mind regarding my pupose but whatevers. I rock.
Whatever your purpose is, don't you think that the people who are alive in your life should be the ones who get your attention and devotion?
I think so.
In my personal experience with losing my dad so young, I miss him everyday but I can't imagine getting paid to sit in courtrooms for trials that indirectly reference my dad's untimely demise. I can't live through that over and over and over and over.
I have like, two or three people who are ALIVE that I'd like to cherish.
Hell, I want to be cherished by people who are alive as opposed to those who are...
Sidenote: No more Crush - too Little Lord Rudeleroy. I decided to get back together with myself.

I just...
the woman who answered the phone at MADD, when I called to schedule my class, sounded so angry and like she didn't want to answer my questions. The flyer that they provide to the courts is full of all caps and exclaimation points and tells you that CASH ONLY NO CHECKS ACCEPTED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES but doesn't tell you what you can look forward to.
Is there a presentation?
Do I need to prepare questions?
Should I bring a pen and scratch paper?
It just angrily tells you that you have to be there with $25 stone-cold dollars in your fist and an extra $10 if you had to cancel a previously scheduled meeting.
Did you know if you drive to jail, your car will get impounded?
It's true.

I don't have purpose and that's not a self-criticism. I'm not driven by anything and if I am, I won't be driven by it in the near future. I am really thankful that my intimates include people whose purpose is to attend to the loonies or to be all capitalistic in their real-estate dealings, to make unbelievable music, or to make sickly animals healthy again.
I want to listen to MADD, I really do...
but I don't think they have the right to tell anyone that they won't listen to us.

Several people might have a big problem with what I said here but think about it - not everyone who gets a dui was acting irresponsibly and the fact is that those of us who have been pulled over after believing to be acting responsibly and accordig to the prescribed safety-rules of consumption are left with no options but to take an expensive and terrifying plea, lose a lot of time off from work, and deal with the ensuing demonization of her supposed criminal activity.
People make mistakes, sometimes without knowing that they are mistaken. If we can't actually abide by the current laws than they need to change. By "abide", I mean "if the police can't execute every stop with great attention to detail and be honest in the resulting report". Ultimately, there is no situation where a driver is allowed to have one drink per hour.
So make it totally illegal and spare the current burden to the defendant, the courts, the pokey, and the groups like MADD.
Spare us all and tell us that there is no way you can have a drink if you will be behind the wheel.
stop trying to make things seem one way when they are actually another.

At least I have lock-down to look forward to. I wonder what I should wear? Something comfortable because I am not sleeping in jeans and I am not letting my hair touch anything so I'll have to do some kind of something.
Oh my god.
What if I get strip-searched?
What if I get strip searched, am not allowed a pony-tail holder, and my bandana gets confiscated?
I can't drive there, I can't take a book, I can't put my hair up...
people of the Internet, it is time for me to get down to business on out-of-body meditation.
And I'm not drinking anything for 24 hours before because there's no fucking way I'm going to go pee in there.
There's no fucking way I will be able to handle knowing that I am touching anything like a mattress that a hooker slept in the day before I got to the Pima County Day Spa. I think they give you more than just slippers there - you get like, this exfoliating jumpsuit. It's exfoliation properties comes from years without fabric softener. Please-oh-please let the rumors be true that People Like Me are not tossed into the General Population.

No way, no how, I will find a way to spend 24 hours in meditation, in a firmly seated position so as to avoid my hair and hands touching anything with semen and/or fecal residue that has blown like hell's version of fairy dust from the wings of a prostitute.

Dudes.... send money in case I need to pay some chick named Omar for the protection of my personal person.

arizonasarah at 9:50 a.m.

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