TV for American Idiots

I stayed home yesterday and watched VH1 pretty much from 6am to 4pm. It was awesome.
Did you know Sebastion Bach married his wife, who is five years older than he is, while he was still in Skid Row?
Remember Yesterday?
My answer is "Not really."
I spent most of it in a cable TV haze. I forgot that Dr. Phil would be on at 3 and that sucks because I love dissecting Dr. Phil's lack of logical sentences, which he masks very well with his weird, Texas intonation and exaggerated expressions.
Cheers, Dr. Phil! You managed to become a TV star by acting out logical, psychiatric reasoning without ACTUAL logic.
Watch him and listen to what he's saying.
It doesn't make a damn bit of sense and yet it has the power to suck you in and I am woman enough to admit that I have found myself whispering "Amen to that, Dr. Phil" and nodding in serious agreement with whatever non-sensical crap he is spewing.
Whatever. So I've cried during Dr. Phil. And when that happens, later, I've realized that I was HAD; my tears a foil for a fake doctor with a degree from some mail-order outlet in San Antonio and a flair for dramatics.
But I missed Dr Phil yesterday because I was too busy watching "Meet the Snyder Family" and "Driven: Green Day". I love Green Day now. No! I'm not kidding! I don't care what the kool kids say. They're like, my age and they are totally experimental and hip, all the while having the courage and the brains to sell out and sign with a major lable.
I think it's really hard to balance selling out against being able to pay your rent.
That band managed to sell out but to make the music that they wanted to make. Green Day has a Punk Rock Opera, for crying out loud.
And it's GOOD.

Mostly, I thought about how people aren't that smart yesterday. There's the Dr. Phil thing - he's got lots of people snowed with his bellowing meaningless crap and doing it in such a way that you sit and watch and hear -not listen, hear - him and you sigh in agreement.
Green Day is a band that is perceived to be kind of 'mall punk rock' but have you listened to American Idiot? People go nuts over this song and don't get the blatant criticism of the American tendency to assume a centrist point of view.
And hello?
Did you know that the Green Day song, Good Riddance was the Number 1 Wedding Song in it's day?
Ummmmm..... would that I go to a wedding somday and that's the theme song.
I can't even comment on all the idiots who heard, "I Hope you've had the time of your life" and totally missed the irony behind the nostalia-coated melody and fuck-you lyrics. Alanis Morrisette probably thinks that song is perfect for something like a wedding. Christ I hate her.
You know who's also an idiot?
Dee Snider.
But you knew that.
His daughter is going to be a great, big star when she grows up but I think his sons could use some of Dr. Phil's tough love. I wonder if Dr. Phil would do a prime time special for them and spew nonsense in an evening time-slot during which the Paris Hilton porno Carl's Junior commercial would air repeatedly. Ha! I can just see Dr. Phil being all serious, 'We'll sort this out after the break." and looking dead at the camera, all serious and concerned and then Paris Hilton gets all gooey over a cheeseburger and a sweet luxury import. After Nearly Naked, we go back to the family and Dr. Phil and find them fighting over electric blue eyeshadow while Dr. Phil tries to shout over the mayhem.
God I wish I could walk around totally oblivious to the fact that nothing I do is all the real or serious. Unfortunately, I have the burden of REALITY. You know, where fat people eat the cheeseburger in the '88 Camry and where dysfuntional families talk to each other around the TV and then stalk off in seperate directions to secretly do sex-chat online or pretend to be working in the shed but really be smoking a great big doobie-doob.
What is up with aging rock stars treating their "women" like groupies? These dudes have been married for upwards of 25 years and on VH1 yesterday?
The only functionally cool couples that I saw?
Yeah, you know what's coming.
Green Day.
Damn you, Green Day, why were you so perfect on June 29, 2005? Are you trying to get a message to me?
Maybe I need to go to the record store and figure out what Green Day is trying to tell me.
Wait. That's a little Tom Cruise in its weirdness. Green Day probably isn't trying to tell me anything except that I was BORN to marry a rock star or some other artist of strangly fabulous proportions and I already knew that.

Which is why I am once again in a relationship with myself, a woman of staggeringly fabulous intellectual, physical, and artistic proportions. I'm planning a date-myself weekend ALL weekend for us! I think we'll do beauty treatments on Friday, go to the salon on Saturday, go out Saturday night, and resume our quiet home-time on Sunday.
Being in a relationship with yourself is nice, as I've detailed many times here. Like yesterday, when I didn't feel like coming to work, I said to myself, "I want to call in today."
and then I replied, "Okay. I'll call in and spend the stay at home in PJs."
And so I called in and spent the day with myself, alternately clutching the remote and a Dr. Kay Scarpetta book; making googly eyes at the puppy and congratulating G-Love and Maggie Sauce on their courageous acceptance of said puppy; eating and thinking about eating; and napping.
We had a great day!

arizonasarah at 9:19 a.m.

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