I Heart Laguna Beach

Sweet, sweet payday, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
1. I get my statement, showing me how much time off from work I still have coming to me before the end of the calendar year. It's always more than I think it should be but like I'm going to complain about that. I'd rather be on vacation, watching Oprah After the Show than be at work any day.
Most days.

2. For 24 hours, I am not thinking about money. I love that.

3. The bills get paid! All kinds of people love payday as much as I do - Sprint, MCI, TEP, SWG, Sallie Mae, and Gold's Gym are always happy to hear that my direct deposit did clear.

4. Burrito day! I get a burrito on payday! Chorizo! Bueno! Burrito! Viva Burrito!, specifically.

5. It's usually a weekend on which I get paid.

I bet there's a Laguna Beach marathon on this weekend. I've decided to become an expert on the show "Laguna Beach". I joined the online Surf Club but I lied about my age and said that I was born in 1986.

These are the things that I am pretty sure of:
1. Stephen loves Kristin still and LC was disappointed that she followed him to San Francisco and it totally didn't result in his ending things with Kristin and falling into her waiting arms. LC? Meet Felicity. Felicity? Meet LC.

2. Kristin loves Stephen, but she's not in love with Stephen. She's super-smart and gets bored easily but I think she'll have to stop competing with LC on the Stephen front. Either tell him that you want him or leave him forever. I know that being in a small town doesn't leave a whole lot for you to do and that playing with boys is easy but you want to party? Go party. It's way more fun than a boyfriend. Since I was born in 1986, according to my Laguna Beach Surf Club ID, I have a *little* more experience and I can tell you that you'll get over him way quick and you'll learn to use sex and flirting as tools but then one day, that will get boring, too and you'll begin to wonder about Stephen. Don't worry honey, if it's meant to be, it will happen.
(Is that what people from 1986 say?)

3. OMG Prom! Stephen seriously can't go to prom with Kristin this year... that's so lame to come back from college and go to prom? I think the people who did that are L-A-M-E (Ben Helm, who went to prom and wasn't even in college. Or junior college).

I wonder if I could skip my yoga thing this weekend if there's a Laguna Beach marathon? Fucking VCR, why did you break before I could record Laguna Beach, all sixteen episodes, and still go to an all-day yoga pool party? You are such a bitch! I hate you as much as I loathe Ben Helm.
I want to lay out, chant poolside, get half of Hanuman's ultimate bliss, AND watch Laguna Beach. If there's a marathon Saturday and not Sunday, I am screwed. No VCR = no Hanuman because today, Laguna Beach is way more important and I'll be inspired to lay out. Which is something I desperately need to do because hi? Where's my tan? Yeah. Exactly. Gone. Not cool.

My new mission is to get to Mecca.
I mean Laguna Beach.
I'll bet the streets are paved with flowers and you are welcomed into the city by a team of colorists who give you the beachy highlights that are required by the municipal code.

These are my people and I shall go and lead them. In preparation, I'll keep watching the marathons, talk to Ajia about pulling out all of the black in my hair and going streaky beach blond, and learn to surf. Don't worry you guys! I am coming! I will help you sort out all of the social issues because I am also from a small town and I know how they work. Since I was born in "1986", I have experience in these situations.
My sister lives in San Francisco - Kristin and I can totally crash there when to get a stalk on and see what Stephen is doing on the DL.
ChelC is right though - if MTV messes with the Hillary Duff performance of the theme song, Laguna Beach and I are not going to be the golden couple that I thought we would be after we got to know each other.

When Survivor and I broke up, I was certain that there would never be another show that could fill the emptiness. Laguna Beach taught me how to love again and I am forever indebted.
Thank you, Laguna Beach... thank you.

arizonasarah at 9:56 a.m.

previous | next