Ahhhh, Corporate America

Someone told me to leave my dog with country music for the day.
I did, and we'll see. It seems like a country music station on a Friday might inspire some kind of outlaw mood that I don't necessarily want to come home to at the end of the day.

She was a total brat this morning. She stole some socks from the laundry basket for breakfast and made the mistake of grooming Grace while the cat was sleeping which... yes, it was America's Funniest Home Videos-worthy entertainment but considering that this was happening on my bed, about 4 inches from my resting body, it was funny in that way where you feel slightly hysterical and all you can do is laugh because you KNOW something terrible is about to happen.

While Grace was smiling and streching her legs, evil little Rosie puppy-crawled into Grace's personal space and began licking Grace's head and ears. "Clean clean, the cat's not clean. Clean clean, she's lost her sheen. Clean, clean..." I totally imagined Rosie kind of sing-songing while she was working, like all she had to do was polish up the cat a little and get Grace ready for a big day outside, killing stuff and hiding.

Frankly, my cats are not good at grooming; Rosie is better at it than they are. They hardly ever groom themselves and when they do, they have no method - no form, you know? They kind of do some back leg and then some paw and maybe the tail then up to the face.

Rosie on the other hand is very Step 1, Step 2, Step 3 and we are ready!
She keeps herself much tidier than either cat so... Clean her up as much as you want to, I guess.
Just... ummm...
You're gonna want to watch out....
...for -
- oh, sorry little puppy did she get you? - come here, it's okay.
Those claws are sharp, huh?

Rosie got smacked on the nose this morning but Grace looks better than usual.

Puppy crawling is so cute. They know they're not supposed to be that close to something, and so they lie as flat as possible and slowly drag their bodies closer, using only their front paws? They kind of keep an eye on you to see if you're going to notice them inching closer? So cute. Someone told me that Rosie certainly got a chance to learn her puppy crawling from the best and I took that to mean that I had puppy-crawled back into the commentator's life. For the record, I also took it as a compliment.


It's shaping up to be one of those days where everyone except me is in a very bad mood.
I've got people to the left of me and to the right stressing out like it isn't Friday and the impending end of monsoon season. I'm ready for a humidity break because it IS a dry heat and there IS a difference. It was so muggy and sweaty last night - I actually woke up with sweat in the crooks of each elbow and cat hair coating the sweat, so I looked like fucking Rip Van Winkle in the arm-hair area. I felt myself reel in terror at what the future could hold. Even in the dark, it was a glimpse into a very hairy future that I do not want. I need to level with the World Wide Web: I will accept the gift of electrolsis, I will. I will not judge your motivation for supplying me with funding to burn the excess body hair off of me, I promise.

If I think to myself, "Shut up" one more time this morning, I am going to go outside and take a walk around the building.
It may only be 8:15 but these people have got to calm down. Clearly, this is not going to be the usual burrito-noshing, gossiping Friday that I have come to love in Corporate America. There's some New Agey pyramid, chimey music coming from someone's Cube. Are you kidding me? "Oh, my third eye! It's glowing with power! Can you see the energy cone? Can you? I have a vortex started over here! A VORTEX IN MY CUBICLE"

Could your vortex suck me in and spit you out and I'll go someplce very, very quiet where I will not be able to fret about arm hair, money, or having to listen to you and your pyramid music? If you're gonna blab about having a vortex, you better share it, dig?

This is not happening.
I am not at work on a Friday, sweating just because I know it's humid outside, worrying about the growth potential of my arm hair, trying to tune out not only the Lite Rock over head but the also the pyramid chiming crap next door.

Aren't there some copies or something for me to work on? Please?

arizonasarah at 7:58 a.m.

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