2006-04-21
A Long Row to Hoe
So it's going to be the kind of day where you just can't win?
Welcome, Grasshopper.
I'm so stressed out that my teeth hurt.
Let's run down the List of Stupid for the Week of April 16, 2006.
1. Instead of finishing a project, I watched VH1 last night. I Love the Nineties. I watched 1993-1997. I count these as years in which I was still young hottie, my finger on the very pulse of trendy. I was a Fox Kids Club Spice Girl; I could work at the daycare with a hang-over so perpetual that I failed to recognize it as a hang-over.
I was awesome in the nineties.
I plan to discuss this often when I am senile and in a home and I can only hope that the people who come into my life now understand how important The Macarena was to me.
Now I owe a friend a big project and since it's Friday and I was going to cut out at 3, I can cut out but only to go home to a volume of work second only to the volume that's on my real desk right now.
2. Yeah, I was going to cut out at 3 today. Except that my phone will not stop ringing and a client is being particularly.... selfish about wanting things done.
Hello?
Friday?
Why now?
Why couldn't this have been sent yesterday?
3. Yeah. It's Friday. And when I went to Circle K to get my weekend candy supply and some cash for a soy latte so I would be getting some protein over the weekend, I discovered the all-too familiar lack of a little pink friend that I like to call, Debit Card.
Debit card got left in an ATM Wednesday when I got out just enough cash to get a meatball sandwich and a peach-berry EeGee.
DAMMIT.
I distinctly remember saying to the dog, "Rosie, I can NOT drive away without my debit card."
It happens every time I go to the Grant and Swan machine.
It's my Bermuda triangle for debit cards.
Debit Card, sure enough, was left in the machine; the bank confirmed this morning when I called just in case it had been stolen. I was thinking that if it had been stolen, maybe that last withdrawal could have been credited to me but I was denied my deviance.
I'm also going to be denied going anywhere that I can't write a check.
Mostly, I am going to be spending the weekend in my courtyard.
I don't have enough gas to drive too far and there's no place to cash a check that wouldn't require driving WAY across town.
Since I'm not getting out of here at 3, scratch going to the bank and getting any dollars.
4. This also means a dearth of clean laundry is about to befall my house. Without clean laundry, I'm lost. I am useless if my favorites are not clean. I need over fabric-softened towels and shorts or I feel a little desperate and confused.
5. I will do penance for this sin by scrubbing my floors. This means being on my hands and knees for an hour and a half while the dog is in her crate, which is placed inconveniently on my bed. This makes the dog unhappy. Since the dog will be unhappy, the cats will be tortured later. When the cats feel threatened and act like declawed fools, they break shit. It's entirely likely that the bucket I am using while cleaning will be upended by an angry pet and nasty floor water will have to be sopped up.
Because I didn't clean up immediately after cleaning, that's why. There's a limit to my domestic skills, this should not be news to anyone.
At least I can use a dirty towel for that virtually guaranteed mess.
The more I think about it, sure, I could clean up my cleaning supplies right away when I am finished with them but I much prefer to flop onto the couch and enjoy the ten minutes of shiny floor that I'll have. I deserve that; I don't deserve the mediation that is required after on species takes out displeasure on the other species.
Those cats have claws and they need to suck it up and get defensive toward my tenacious D. They need to leave my cleaning supplies alone and take it out on Rosie already.
arizonasarah at 1:07 p.m.