2006-07-31
Derby Will Change Your Life
And how.
So far, I've changed my insurance, the amount of money I spend on Pizza Hut pizza, the way I drive after any given skate night, what time I go to bed, how much water/ibuprofen/patience/ I have or don't have in a day and my entire outlook on knee high socks.
While I generally spend at least several hours getting yelled at by people who think I can make some party stop trying to collect on them or who think that I know which drug they can take the least expensively. I'm usually "uh-huh"ing quietly with my face in my hands, waiting for the irate caller, whose life I am trying to make better than anyone tries to make my life, to stop for one second so that I can tell them what's going on with their situation.
This used to be a recipe for disaster.
This used to make my skin feel crawly and I could hear the grey hairs springing forth at my part. A couple of months ago, I could hear nothing but my rising blood pressure in the few minutes that I took to jot out an essay or to re-group my task list.
Now, I still have those stresses and I still feel them but every, single day, I see or feel some bruise and I totally remember that there's a lot more going that's good in my life than just work.
Now, I think about how awesome it will be when I go to work with my first black eye. I mean, come on, the first rule of rollerderby is - Never Talk About Rollerderby.
Not true.
I think it's something about not crying but the reality of me not crying is about as pale as the reality of Hobbits and Changelings. I'll try not to cry AT Derby and that's a huge compromise, all things considered that I am a walking emotion pretty much every day.
The thing is that I had this really dumb idea that I could be a Derby Girl. I sucked at skating and rarely left my house but still, it was a vision.
Now, I don't suck at skating and I totally have a life again and for the last few months, all I was hearing from current and retired skaters was, "Derby will change your life." It's probably one of those permanent memories that I have when Whiskey Mick looked me dead in the eye and said, "It will change your life." Now, it's reality that I could come to work with a black eye next week and I earned it by working hard and by being a part of something that's truly, organically great for women.
There's no doping in derby, you know. It's such a different kind of sport for women. A really brilliant team needs women of all sizes and there's so much gear involved, you can be a goat and still be an incredible player. It's all about how hard you work and how much heart you have for your league and your community. I'm really lucky to be in a place where a thousand people buy tickets and where the league is driven by sportsladyship and not grain alcohol.
But for a bit, especially after hearing it so many times, I was going through this thing where I was thinking that maybe I didn't want my life to change. Like maybe it was good to be on a fairly Victorian path of prudency and pride in spending every day at work and every weekend with a broom or a book.
I was thinking that maybe it's good that I'm not meeting anyone because boys are just trouble, TRUST ME, and the only guys I meet are:
Broke, not as smart as me, married, or some weird combination of all of those.
OH!
Or just really, really, really weird.
Para exempla: Moody McMichael showing up twice in as many days.
Why?
You tell me.
I propositioned him for dirty sex and he said something about feeling used so I'll allow for my evil readers to draw their own conclusions.
I have theories, of course, but nothing is proven.
Yet.
Anyway, I was thinking that if nothing changed, life probably couldn't get a lot less enjoyable and once I accepted that it probably wouldn't ever become less droll and joyless, I did experience a certain sense of relief. I decided to go for it and I went and I made it and then I remembered that I like all my new friends with whom I've been training. I like having 4 places to be and five people to talk about. I like all the cameras.
In 24 hours, Derby has changed my life.
First of all, ow.
Second of all, wow. You like me. You really like me!
Third, oh wait. I gotta go. I have practice and then bowling and I have to stop by the skate shop on the way because Katie is probably already waiting for me there.
arizonasarah at 1:31 p.m.