2007-04-05
Destiny
Karma.
What do you do?
There's no fucking way I believe that any one is tied to a fate or destined for anything.
I'm pretty sure that the only limits are the ones you put on yourself and that those are usually good faith efforts to do what you think is the right thing at the given time.
I'm also pretty sure you can't catch someone else's karma.
I mean... it's not a virus because if it was, I would have gone to Urgent Care about 6 years ago and gotten a shot of penicillin to avoid continued suffering.
But then I get caught by creative or mystical ideas, usually from people who I perceive to be totally clicked into the non-Earth Plane, and I get all turned around.
Luckily, I'm can be pretty off-putting and condescending when faced with the drugged-out glitter eyes of people who seem to be brainwashed by a person or an idea.
When extolling begins, my automatic internal monologue is summed up with one word, "Bullshit."
I think that it's what had saved me from becoming Wife 9.
That, and the fact that I don't know anyone in any cults.
But along the way, I have met people who tell me things about ghosts and destiny and burden; those things almost make their sale to me.
I have to stop and then I have to actively think, "This is not possible. My life is composed of x, y, and z. The things that you can touch are the things that are real and the intangibles are indefinite."
I have to actively chose to focus on The things that are definite in order to slide my attention off of the things that are not.
Sometimes, I think about karma or fate or any of that stuff and I think, "Wow. This relationship is exactly like my parents' in all of the bad ways! Oh well! I guess that's fate for ya!"
Then a few days later, I think, "Fuck that noise," because I remember that I'm not into fate or destiny.
And I remember that even if I WAS into fate, this relationship isn't like my parents' in a lot of the good ways.
arizonasarah at 2:20 p.m.