Evils of Tuesday

I met this guy, I think.
Never mind.

It's probably nothing.

I'm mostly concerned with eating these days.
It's the result of spiking up the number of workouts I am doing for the next month in preparation for what will be a game that's gonna feel like this:

Fill a Jacuzzi up with goat blood and then turn it on so everything is all nice and hot.
Take two sacks of cats and dump them into the Jacuzzi.
Stand back.

In this hopefully helpful analogy, I am one of the cats and the Jacuzzi is the track and that's all I'm saying about that!

I'm tired of introspection but I don't really have anything interesting enough going on and even if I did, I would probably veer into introspective territory and then I'd be pissed off at myself.

The dude?
It's potentially too public for me to say much.
I want the story that I tell in two years at our engagement party to go like this, "Well, we were at the airport, believe it or not, on the same ridiculously early flight.
I was in line in front of him - I wanted to change my seat to be a window seat so I could slump against the window and sleep.
He noticed my derby shirt and we got to talking.
I know!
Well, I originally messed up his email address so I had to go all Stalker Sarah on My Space but I knew those impulses would someday work to my favor, I just knew it!"

Then I want to flash my gigantor, blinding ring and tell all my single friends to suck it, that I win!

that wasn't cool at all.
I wouldn't REALLY think that toward any friend but to a frenemy?
You know I would be that bitch "casually" using her left hand to play with her hair, and then fiddling with the ring later as a "nervous fidget".
Or raising my voice just enough so that I'm positive the frenemy can hear about the staggering carat size.

But diamonds are evil!
No shit.

And I'm getting to the point where I'm sort of a hypocrite liberal lately.
They're evil but what the hell isn't?
We can't sun, we can't smoke, I'm too old to enjoy drinking anymore, the climate is shot all to hell, and my country's humanitarian abilities are conveniently limited to areas in the world where there is a financial interest.
Which would be fucking FINE if there was some honesty: "Hey, yeah we're gonna deal with the evil in Iraq!"
"What about Darfur?"
"Well, we're pretty thin in the world right now, resource-wise."
"Well why one and not the other."
"Oh, silly voter! Iraq has The Terrorists!"

Genocide - check.
Oil interest - whoa, now hold up there! Don't go jumping to conclusions!
Potential for long-term Halliburton Contracting - Alright, Missy. Thin ice....

Thin ice, my ass. Africa and the Middle East, I think of as warm climates without ice.
Of course, give that 10 years or so and god only knows what the weather will be doing in those necks of the global woods.

I'm also pissed off about drugs.
Why is this country so high?
Who the hell is doing all the drugs?
This is frustrating me to no end.
I do not understand the meth epidemic, mainly the part about its perpetual nature.

Who is doing all of these drugs and what's the plan for dealing with them?
Now the meth is coming in from Mexico?
I heard this on an NPR news show, that because all of the meth eradication efforts were successful, there aren't home made labs anymore so now the drug is coming in from our neighbor to the South.
It's pricer but of course, if your drugs cost more, they are better quality.
Unless you're so fucked up and desperate some dealer takes advantage of the $20 you just "earned" by breaking into a first-floor and stealing all the DVD to sell.

It's such bullshit, the Dope Show.
I have to remove my FLIP FLOPS to get through an airport security gate but law enforcement isn't able to prevent major influxes of drugs coming into the country.

Drugs that cause people's teeth to melt and their souls to evaporate and that are most likely coming through some tunnel the size of Wisconsin and running under my own first-floor.

And no, you can't just shoot 'em, Cowboy.

I need my mojo back.
I've been so well-behaved for so long that I think I've dulled out.
My devilish look is hiding under angel wings that barely fit.

Maybe I'm just laying low until my face stops falling off.
I think if anyone asks, "I don't want to be rude but... what's going on, Sarah?"
If anyone asks me that, I think I'll say, "They aren't really sure but they're testing for flesh-eating bacteria and parasites!"

I saw my first sewer roach of the season and learned that the bigger the place, the bigger the bug.
You know that bug in Bubba Ho-Tep?
It was on my wall, also.
Sadly, I didn't have Elvis or a dyed Mr. Jack Kennedy to help me stick a fork in it.
Left to me own devices, I slowed my breathing, armed myself with hairspray and started praying.
It went back to whatever hell mouth it came out of, luckily because there's no way I could ever get close enough to it to kill it without going into coronary arrest, brought on by a fear trigger.
As of the next morning, which happened to be Easter, there was a protective coating of Boric Acid surrounding my place and any potential Hell Mouths or drug tunnels.

That one won't be rising.

arizonasarah at 2:51 p.m.

previous | next