Totally True Trashy Things

True Things That are Trashy About Me

1. My back porch.
I put the recycling out there, in a box. I often open the back door, toss a diet coke can or a clean-out can of tuna into the box and I often miss.
I also use the step back there sometimes as a holding area for grocery bags of cat doody. If I don't jump on the little box the minute the cat jumps out of it, one of two things happens:
A. It smells AWFUL
B. The dog eats the doody.
I'm not cool with either of those options and as luck would have it, the cat is always gracious enough to wait until I'm home, preferably until I have just gotten comfortable in my bed, to doody.
Add a little extra-trashy on this item because when I open the door to put the bag of shit on the back step, I am often wearing a robe and a stained up tee shirt.

2. My friends.
A friend of mine is coming out to Tucson for the first time.
"What do you want to do while you're here, Friend?"
"I wanna know what's dope in Tucson. And I want to see some mother-fuckin' nature."

3. My TV.
I love it.
I quit cable for the 87th time and I'm certain, not for the last time.
Since then, I've had to rent probably thousands of movies so that there is something visual displaying on a screen somewhere in my vicinity.
I can't live without that.
I think it's because of living alone.
So what if my company is my TV and my dog and my precious fucking Hagen Das, so what?
Get off my back Jimmy Corr!!!!!!!

4. Driving with the windows rolled all the way down and the classic rock turned all the way up and not ironically either.
For reals, I love it.
I feel empowered and like the music is moving me deep in my soul.

5. I like making out in parking lots. I might not go home with my dates, or I might not want to go out with them a second time but as long as I've had enough alcohol then I have no problem totally macking hard in the parking lot of where ever I am.
This leads to confusion and sometimes I go, "I went out with him but I kind of wasn't that into him and then he got all weird and stalkery the next day."
Ummmm, Sarah?
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. THAT'S why he was all stalkery and weird."

6. I have no furniture.

7. I get impatient with my dog, especially when we're walking down the street and she's not wearing a leash.

arizonasarah at 12:28 p.m.

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