Future Boyfriends

Boyfriend Archetypes that I Want Sometime in My Life:

1. Southie from Boston.
He would be short and have anger management issues because of being Irish but he would have hea-hhht of gold despite not wanting to move back to the neigh-bahh-hood.
We would get really drunk on Saturday nights, have a door-slamming fights that end in hot sex on the kitchen floor and then we would go to church on Sunday mornings and hold hands.
He would have blue eyes and we would never listen to country music.
We would break up because his brother wouldn't stop hitting on me in front of the nieces and nephews and he would blame me, which would not be cool at all.

2. A professional athlete, preferably baseball or football.
He would be hulking and he would come off the road and go straight to my games in a limo and afterwards, he would wait for me outside my team room with a huge bouquet of flowers and some Cristal in the limo.
He would have that sort of half-beard situation that's more grown out than Miami Vice but that's not a ton of creepy facial hair, either.
He would be a little depressed about the state of professional sports but he wouldn't exactly be on the front lines going, "Pay me less, please!"
His depression would lead to drinking, which would lead to juicing (which would be tempting but I wouldn't do it because then I would lost the right of way on the high road).
He would share his resources with me, things like nutritionist and acupuncturist and the mani/pedi chick but things would get bad because of the 'roids.
I would let it slip to another girlfriend and he would come home angry and I would throw a bottle of wine at the plate glass window behind him, which would shatter.
I would run like hell and that would be pretty much the end of that.

3. The cool Texas dude.
He'd be a lot like I imagine Lyle Lovett to be.
He'd have a dow-og and a truck and a place out in the country that his pioneer grandmother built with only the help of her Mexican best friend.
It would have a great big porch.
He would want to do things like stay and home and make chili or go to hear dance hall music and he would actually dance, maybe even too much sometimes.
He would offer good colloquialisms, not loud and derisive ones like Dr, Phil - he would hate Dr. Phil in fact.
He would make the bed everyday and be considerate and know about flowers, guns, and livestock but not in any arrogant or studied way.
I would want to marry him, so I would do that and we would have the happily we were ever after.

Exciting Changes

"Contact" is effing working now and you can email me. Please keep in mind that if you act the bitch in your email to me? I will make you cry because I'm so over keeping the peace.

arizonasarah at 9:18 a.m.

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