It's Private!

Why can't the bathroom be private?
This is bothering me greatly.

Lately, it seems that if I walk into a restroom, there is a line of people waiting to talk to me.

This is not where I want to talk.
This is a private place where people sometimes go to be alone so that they are not crying openly at their desks or on their team benches or at the bar.
This is not the time that I want to hear, "Hi Sarah!"
"Hey! You've got a tag sticking out!"
"What's wrong?!"
"What are you doing here?"

Besides the obvious, I am mostly in the bathroom to get away from Stressful Things.
I am in the bathroom to Take a Moment.

It's eight billion degrees outside and if I could step away to the outdoors without burning either my retinas or the soles of my shoes or both, believe me.... I would step outside.

As it is, the options are somewhat limited but that in no way means I want to hang out while I'm in the bathroom.

And regardless... I mean.... it's the bathroom, you know?
It's supposed to be sort of quiet and private and I am supposed to be able to contemplatively stare into the mirror while I wash my hands of bike grease or work germs.
I want to be allowed the sweet feeling of getting away when I shut the stall door and lean against the cool tiles to do some deep breathing after a particularly challenging phone call or when I learn of the retirement of a very important influence.

Instead, I am usually sent into a mental tailspin when, as I approach the bathroom, I hear running water.
This means there's Someone In There and that means that no good private time can come of it.
Worse, it means I'll have to smile or act sweetly.
It's sort of bullshit if you think about it long enough.
Why can't the bathroom be private, like it was intended to be?

Also, I had lunch with a therapist friend this weekend and we were talking about food and metabolism and mental health and stuff.
Did you know that being touched is one of the keys to stimulating the healthy endorphins that help humans maintain their physical and emotional health?

This means that if you are me and the only person you've been hugged by is your trailer park-living ex-boyfriend in whom you have no interest but whom you know will at least hug you meaningfully.... well this means that you are physically a Spinster.

The Spinster Eddy widens to cover the cycle of stuffing emotions = gaining weight = unlovable = untouchable = gaining weight because your body isn't producing everything it needs = not being huggable = feeling lonely and unlovable = stuffing emotions because of not being hugged.
And so on.

I think I might move to Nashville.
I wonder if bathroom privacy is better respected as you move geographically toward The South.

arizonasarah at 2:40 p.m.

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