I found a candle that smells like dirt.
It smells like funky, rich soil and I love it.
I burned it last night in a prominent smelling location of my living room and each time I would get a breath of the smell of dirt, I got hit with a palpable neuronal zap of calm.
My brain would freeze for a millisecond and I was transported to the smell of Illinois, of a childhood spent outside.

I also hung out with someone totally interesting. The interesting thing is that I didn't get tired of hanging out with him. Hours stretched by and I didn't notice. Usually, I can't spend all that much time with one person. I need downtime, alone time, get-away-from-me-time.
But this guy spent the whole day next to me and I was fine with it.
So fine that I would have spent more time with him last night but I had an emergency friend situation to attend to and THAT lasted all day.
Two all-days in one two-day weekend is a lot of all-daying even if it is with two different people. I need to have time to lie on the futon with my dog, to slip into my head and imagine things or hear the notes of the radio I don't hear when I am all-daying with people.

But even though I was done being around people, I sort of wanted him to come over again, which is interesting to me for its sheer rarity. I really can't function without some retreat. I got none of that this weekend and I sort of was almost all the way okay about it. Not quite okay, but almost.

Don't go getting excited.
I only mention it because I am unclear about whether it's me changing and being able to spend all day with someone or if he's not a one-off.****************

I just got a new insurance card.
My old one I have had since Day 1 so it went through Rosie's puppyhood. It has the tiniest teeth marks and shredding on one corner. Most of the time when I present it at a doctor's office or for a flu shot, there is a dog lover who's voice slips around in octave and who says, "Oh my gawd, isthisfromaPUPPY!!!!??!?!??!??? that's so CUTE!!!!"

I don't tell them that the puppy is almost 3 and turning into a very good dog. Who cares - thye can think I have a little flying monster of paws and teeth at home when in reality, my doglet is becoming a dog. I walked Rosie to a friend's house in the morning yesterday for tea and she noted how good Rosie has become, how loving and well-behaved. I agreeded and my heart swelled with pride because I work with Rosie a lot and she really is, finally, becoming a real dog.

Except with one person, which I can't figure out. My friend Jill comes over and Rosie loses her mind. I think Jill is sort of excitable. Exciting, but excitable as well. Rosie will not jump like that on anyone else and will listen to any number of old and new friends when she is told to sit, told to lie down. But when Jill walks in, she flips and Jill flips and it spirals into the two of them feeding off of each other's energy to no good end for either.

I am not sure what to do about that.
I wonder what Cesar would say?
I wonder if he's got an episode devoted to visitors.****************

I am listening to a Josh Ritter concert and am quite surprised to hear a cover of an old Modest Mouse song.

More surprising is that I am:
1. Listening to a concert, and
2. Can pick out old Modest Mouse songs.

I am so sort of obsessed with iTunes.
I have got to stop spending so much money there. It's a little embarrassing, not in small part because of how predictable my taste in music is.

Amy Winehouse
Lily Allen
Public radio podcasts
Ani DiFranco
The Killers

The only interesting and remotely surprising things happening on my downloads list are Daniel Johnston and ummmmmm.... Creedance Clearwater Revival.
I bet you didn't know that I love that one song, "Just got back from Illinois/lock the front door oh boy/got to set down, take a rest on the porch"
and see, now that I've mentioned it, it's not even all that surprising now is it?
I also like Hey Tonight a lot.****************

I'm sort of in the mood to rock out tonight but sadly, I really need to work out because I missed the gym this morning.
Sleep has been a problem lately and I made a choice.

I want to go walk up this hill as it's my favorite thing to do. There are no dogs allowed because it's a research area but I think that if I can get out of work on time, I can bust home, throw the ball for the newly lonely dog, and get over to my hill in time to burn up and burn down before full-on dark sets in.

A plan?
I can do it.

I want to rage out of control which means one thing: I need to work out. Well, two things: I can probably get up the fucking hill in record time.


Missing two workouts is a major reason why I don't care for all-day things all the time.
I turn into this: Unfocused, weird, angry, hungry, and obsessed with how to do something stupid to prove to myself that my physical conditioning isn't suffering while I am almost ignoring my high-energy dog's equally important need to blow off natuarally high levels of adrenolin.

arizonasarah at 12:23 p.m.

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