2008-01-11

Attitude Problem

Black shoes.
Black tights.
Long black sweater coat.
Gigantic black sunglasses.

What makes you think the person wearing this outfit, at 5:30 in the afternoon, wants to talk to you?

I often take the dog over to the park to run some of the asshole energy out of her when I come home from work. Yesterday I came home from work and found out that, who knew?
Dogs don't digest almonds, especially almonds that they get into even though the almonds were in what was considered an impossible location for the dog to get to.... without the dog climbing on the table.
Which the dog has time to figure out and undertake now that she is bored and lonely since the great big cat she loved so much has left the building. I mean, really, any dog in her position would take to climbing onto the table, eating a bunch of almonds and then leaving the undigested proof for me to find later.

Regardless of what I come home to from the dog lately, during these trying first few weeks without The Black-Hearted Albino, I have kind of had it with homeless people and drug dealers approaching me. this is particulary frustrating to me when I am obviously not even remotely interested in talking to anyone.

Yesterday's dude was a drug dealer, no doubt. He was well dressed and clean shaven and he didn't reek of cheap booze. He talked to every homeless person at the park, all up close and personal so as to make the exchange seem less obvious.

Of course, even though I am dressed like I just came from a funeral, he thinks it's a good idea to spread out his coat and sit about 50 yards directly in front of me, whistling at my dog and cheering her on as she chased down each ball toss.

When I do not acknowledge him, he felt like it was a good idea to come up to me and talk to me.
Do I LOOK friendly?
Even a little bit?
I beat on other women for a hobby and there was that incident at the work Christmas party where someone got drunk and told me I was a stone cold bitch.
And I was festive that night.

So seriously? Looking unapproachable and unhappy is not a stretch for me at all. I found it as a surly teen and perfected it as a bitchy, popular twenty-something.
This is so not about me being approachable and interesting on the outside.

Anyway, then he comes up to me, "What kind of dog is that?"
"Just a dog."
"You got a problem?"
"I want to be alone with my dog right now."
"Can I throw the ball?"
Can I throw a roundhouse into your head?
"Dude I just got home form work and this is my unwind time. I don't really want company."
"You need to throw the ball different for that dog."
"Fuck you."

Someday I am going to get killed, I know this.
I have a mouth the size of Wisconsin and it's relatively uncensored. I generally consider myself to be physical enough to take care of myself, what with the whole attacking a mugger and swinging at an intruder examples from the last couple of years. I am relatively fearless at this point.
But the fact is that if I actually provoked someone who isn't a tweaker or who is armed with.... anything, I would likely die dishonorably at the hands of my own arrogance.
Fearless is one thing but stupid is something completely different.

Still though, I can't help but feel like, really sick of being approached at the parks in my town when I very clearly, very obviously do not want to be approached.
When I say "Leave me alone," and a stranger doesn't, then that's an invite for my hostility to rise and it's a cue to me to be ready for a fight.

Nine times out of ten, it's a drunk with no teeth and I am chastised for having a problem: "What's your problem?"
"You mad at the world?"
You got a problem?"
"You got a attitude."

Yeah.
I do.
There is a Central Casting Homeless Drunk who is way to far up in my personal space and telling ME that I have the attitude problem.

Now get the hell away from me before I sic myself on you and my dog follows suit.

I'm so fuckin' sick of this town.

arizonasarah at 12:38 p.m.

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