Be My Friend

Jesus just brings down the hammer, not the hammer of kindness like you would expect from Jesus, either.
He is a mean son of a bitch sometimes.,
But Truth be told, so to speak, He does not lie.
Were I to take this all to Him and consult Him, I know I would have validated so much of how I feel about everything. I would understand that I'm not insane at all and that I'm not alone and I would know that someone Gets It.

Too bad Jesus is so damn complicated.
I mean, I can't just call Him up and spill my guts the way you're supposed to be able to talk to Jesus, the way everyone tells you He is available for you to seek Light and shit from.

That's not entirely true about Jesus.

You will be thinking that you are talking to Him about one thing and He will be listening but then all of a sudden from left field, He will launch a rocket at you and He will make sure it is one that will explode, leaving your front porch a goddamn mess that YOU have to either ignore or clean up.

Or hope someone else will clean up for you, which never ever happens.

Jesus is a good reminder that maybe you're not that special, to be honest because He does this to everyone.

And if you are seeking your definition, your special from Him than you are far more fucked up than you think you are, or than you knew until about a couple of weeks ago.

So call John the Baptist.
He's gentle.

He's gently gone on a bender of Biblical proportions and you gently don't give a shit this time.

A year from now, you'll call or drive by and his phone will be disconnected as it often is so you'll drive by, to tell him you're finally leaving this desert of his.

And his cave will be all sealed up, closed to the public or not able to be located.

Maybe you'll call his mom and maybe this time you won't.

Because with John the Baptist, it's always been a case of YOU finding HIM and really?

Is that connection?

Do you even care about connection with him anymore?

He's so far gone that counsel there is beyond a joke; it's just a tape that keep playing, "You never learn girlie! I care about you! You can do anything! Why do you always do this!"

Fucking LISTEN.

We (I) are no longer children, John the Baptist!
Hear me when I tell you this shit.
Be my fucking friend!
All I am doing is nothing I've ever done before so mayhap I could get a little goddamn minute of the attention you say you want to give me.

And with the 'goddamn'?
Back to Jesus.

(Actually not but it was a great way to end that piece.)

I need a non-Biblical exfrence about whom I can write stories and on whom I can project.

arizonasarah at 1:46 p.m.

previous | next