2005-01-27
Insomnia II
Make that five consecutive nights. I add about an hour each night so it seems as though by SUNDAY, I'll be up to 7 hours of sleep. In the meantime, I am bloated and droopy and phleghmy and tired. Man, I'm tired.
I am only working a half day today because I have to go deal with the Situation That Shall Remain Un-named. There shouldn't be anything too major going down today per the Situation but it's the kick-off, that's for sure. Today is the kick-off for the festival that dealing with the Situation is going to be.
It's also the day that I clean my smelly house. God it smells in there. It's so old and was so ru down for so long that when it is rainy like it has been, the place seems to just soak up every smell that has ever happened in there. Unfortunately, a lot of cat shit happens in my house and a lot of burned toast has happened up in there this week so it is time to put on my Biohazard suit and go to town.
I used to be such a massive slob. Now, I can't STAND it when things are messy and out-of-place. I never tolerated dirty dirt all that well but clothes and messy was fine. Well, now, that's not so much fine. Not only do the clothes on the floor have to be clean, but the floor has to be clean and the hanger needs to be in my hand and intended to hold the clothes on the clean floor. Dishes in the sink make me cringe a little and in general, rain makes things dirtier here so I have to clean more here. It's so dusty and dirty anyway.
I mean, you get used to that. your stuff is just never as clean as the stuff that people from the East or Midwest. There's so much dust here that it just kind of lives in all of your clothes and furniture. Add in the cats and the rain and you have a Sarah obsessed with getting home and scrubbing the hell out of every surface and cranny that I can find. Although my clean streak does not extend into closets and cupboards, it is pretty all-encompassing for anything that is out in the open.
God I can't wait to get out of here and clean post Situation-dealing.
My nerves, they are fried.
Sleep, come to me and make me your bitch for a couple of days! Dude. Is that too much to ask? To get some serious rest?
And no, drugs don't work. Insomnia is a beast that is hard to tame if there is any kind of stress or distress in your life. When things are hunky dory, it can be kept in check with ease. A good schedule, no caffeine after 3 pm, and on bad days a popped pill works 95% of the time.
But when I am throw up against a wall of fear, regardless of the type of fear, I can't do anything about the insomnia. I can't fall asleep and I can't wake up. It's seriously like facing your own duality ALL THE TIME.
Maybe after kick-off of the Situation, I'll be able to get some shut-eye.
arizonasarah at 8:35 a.m.