2005-04-28
The End is Near
Some people that I know have been saying that the End is Near for as long as I have known them.
What is near, though, when you're thinking about the end of humankind, or Earth, or the Starbucks Campaign?
The End.
I got to thinking about this when I read a little blurb about how the new Pope, Benedict, fits the bill for the 2nd to last Pope as he's predicted in some ancient or missing biblical text.
He's 78, so that means that the last Pope can't be too far behind Benedict and with the last Pope, the End of Days.
That's cool.
I'm not all worried about the End. I guess could go one of two ways: I could die for being such a sinner and I'm not overly concerned about that possibility. Heaven and Hell are way too vague of a bribe or threat respectively. I need stuff to motivate me. If I knew I was getting a house than I'd quit sinning so much. On the other hand, the end might turn into some kind of The Stand, where a few people are left to consider the creation of a new world order. If I was one of the last human standing, I have no idea what I would do. I would probably be all stupid and go "shopping" for luxury automobiles. I'd totally get an H2 and a supply of gasolene, or take us temporary residence near a fuel supply. I'd have to go out in search of people but I wouldn't really know where to start. Nobody would come to the desert to lay up begin life because of the water situation, lack thereof, I should specify. I think I'd head to California. You have to be in a place where there are resources and where the climate is manageable. Plus, there are a lot of people in California, so the chances of finding someone to build a society with are multiplied by at least 4.
After I get to California, I guess I'd wander around until I found someone to get started on gettin' tribal. I don't know if I'd try to find the big nucleus of other leftover humans. I think I'd just do my thing, kind of pioneer style. I'd homestead with Maggie, Grace, the dog, and anybody whom I feel would benefit the community without being too much of a drag, in terms of making us work all the time or not being emotionally tunned in to the dynamic of the group.
The group being me, of course.
Me and my lovah, me.
My relationship with myself is going really well. I love the cats and am going to have to leave early from work today to take Grace in and get sedated so that I will be able to loosen the TAR she has mushed up between her foot and toe pads. I may even need to shave off a little portion of the fur by her foot and truthfully, this is going to be a tranquilizer for her and a tranquilizer for me kind of situation.
I'm trying not to be all terrified of the animal and what she can do to my pretty limbs.
And Maggie is no help, whatsoever.
I read that you can give cats Benedryl in the amount of 1 mL per pound. Benedryl makes me sleepy, won't make the cat sleepy?
Let's find out:
I'm resourceful and I hid the drug in some Redi-Whip. Grace came running, Maggie came running, Grace wouldn't eat the canned whip-topping, so I have to hold her down and force it into her mouth while Maggie is trying to get through me to get to the cream.
A couple things Mags:
1. You weigh a lot less than Grace. If you ate this seemingly tasty treat, you would be asleep for 3 days.
2. YOU HAVE YOUR OWN AND IT IS RIGHT OVER THERE.
What?
I'm sorry...
did you say you finished yours and now you want hers?
Maggie!
Argh!
arizonasarah at 11:36 a.m.