2005-05-31
Hide the Stash
Man, one of my friends is pissing me off. I have a nervous condition and so does she. I went to my family practitioner and a therapist and I got a note from my therapist to take to the doctor and I now have the good drugs that treat my condition.
Meanwhile, my friend goes to the doctor and then has a nervous breakdown because tests were administered. Although my friend walked out with some treatment options, my friend was at my door last night, trying to score.
Ummmm.....
No.
Not ever, ever again. I didn't know how much this would bother me but it totally does and so I will totally not be doing any favors in that department ever again. It's just asking for trouble.
I'll even be a grown-up and talk to my friend about it because if it even happens again, we will not be friends.
I can't explain it... it just grosses me out a little. First of all, I don't take that stuff for fun. It ruins my sex drive, it makes me sleepy sometimes when I don't want to be sleepy, and there is a stigma attached to it. By the same token, these drugs work for me and I happier and healthier with them. I can't exactly "spare a square", if you know what I'm sayin'.
Second of all, I know this person had a 7-day treatment plan and why my friend come to my door looking for MY treatment plan, on Day 4 and not Day 8, is a mystery that I'm not sure I want to solve.
Third, ILLEGAL, ILLEGAL, ILLEGAL.
The first time, I did a favor and let's just say that now...
I'm not sure that I'm helping any and I sure am hell not open to risk at this time, thank-you-very-much.
My best friend has this thing about weak people and I think I'm starting to get why she thinks I'm not a weak person, even though I have been convinced for several years now that I am weak.
In other news, I heard this morning on NPR, that teenagers using alcohol and cigarettes will hinder their brain development.
Okay.
How about teenagers who took Prozac for a year when it first came out? Are their brains stunted in some way?
From personal experience, I have to tell you that, yes, I beleive that I was too young to be on that drug for as long as I was on it. I also think that the extended use of Prozac (over a year when I had just turned fifteen) while I was still developing has been the number one contributor to my problems with anxiety and depression.
They are not things that I can control.
I've tried diet, exercise, meditation, medication, and the combination of activity/drugs that I have going today has given me the best results.
Other people need to find their own roots and their own solutions and get out of my medcine cabinet or go to Mexico or something.
I'm just sayin'.
Christ I am not in the mood for to tell someone with the potential to freak the fuck out that I don't want her hovering at my drugs anymore.
On the other hand, getting it over with will feel good and if the friendship is injured, c'est la vie...
you can't be my friend for my drugs.
I've worked my ass off to find a combination and dosage that works the best for me and my reward is that I take one in the morning and one at night and life isn't so bad.
This friend of mine has got to take on her own issues in her own way, with her own doctors and therapists.
Meds are not a cure-all - I believe that it takes a lot of work and therapy to have a drug-treatment program be effective. I also believe that there are some extenuating circumstances (See above: Prozac) that stunted my brain's ability to regulate some important chemicals.
Her situation is different and she needs to treat it on her own.
This is going to suck because she's a good friend but I can't take it anymore. I think she views me and easy-going and laid-back when I'm really not either of those things. I'm naturally lazy and tense.
I did an exhaustive search for what would make me have a healthier life.
I found it.
I have to tell all of this to her and hope for the best.
arizonasarah at 8:07 a.m.