2005-06-01
ITEM!
ITEM!
I'm back to work after a four-day weekend yesterday and I seriously think that I could feel the hairs on my head turning grey. I have the same feeling today. I've known this for a long time, but this week, it is particularly troubling that so many people can raise both hands in the air and defensively say, "Hey! Whoa, whoa - that's not me! That's not my fault!"
Well, cockslap, since you're saying it's not your fault and she's saying it's not hers and that organization really has nothing to do with it, either, than who the FUCK caused all of these problems.
Due to "Nobody's" failure to attend to things like opening the mail, this dude is going to get his wages garninshed and because I am the only person who is making any kind of effort to get it sorted out, guess whose fault it is?
Yeah.
Try to yell at me one more time, dude and I swear to god, I'll start correcting your grammar while you're doing it and I'm not even kidding about that.
ITEM!
Something really, super romantic is going on over here and I can't get into details because the truth is that I don't know the details. I met this guy, he's amazing, I had one of the best nights of my life, and he did, too.
And that's from the hobby horse's mouth, friends and neighbors. I keep telling myself that there's toally something terribly wrong here but then he says or does something like... all romantic comedy perfect and I can't help but believe that FINALLY, my life has become the plot line for one of those UK chick books.
Although I hate them, it's possible that perhaps I hated them because the far-fetched crap in them never happened to me?
Romance is usually, "Do you wanna another Miller Lite?" in my world and now it's all, to go all Vanessa Williams on your ass,
A whole new world....
A new horizon...
something something something
If I was in a Disney movie, there would be little birds leading me down a magical Disney path, with magical Disney bunnies scratching their magical Disney ears while waiting for me to speed up my wonder-filled steps down the Disney forest-grassy lane.
ITEM!
Other friendship areas are much improved and full of crap, respectively. I am having one of those "I told you so" weeks.
"Be carrreful what you wiiish for..."
I am so fed up with one of my friends right now. Phone first! It is a tenet of Midwestern Living and this dude is from the Midwest. I can't decide if I want to term the friendship, or if in 10 years, I'll feel really crappy for ending a friendship. That's my usual modus operendi.
I quit people and then feel bad about it a couple of years later.
The dude's a good guy but he's not really someone who is Inner Circle anymore. He's not that smart, for starters. He makes me feel dirty and not in a good way.
Ummmm, admittedly, he used to make me feel dirty in a good way but whatever.
People change.
I want nothing more than to blow him off but he won't take no for an answer and that bugs me, too.
He calls at the last minute and tells me that he's in town.
"Oh! Well, hi. What's your schedule like?"
"I don't have one - I'm a free man."
"Okay, look asshat, I DO have a schedule and it really doesn't include friends that used to be a lot of fun but who now drive me batty with their inability to have a decent conversation."
I also don't like it when you tell me that I'm pretty and brother, that is rare.
I'd like to reiterate that I am totally easy - a Miller Lite and a compliment for my hair and you've pretty much got me.
This dude goes out of his way to tell me that I'm cute or whatever and it's just WEIRD. It skeeves me out when it comes from him.
He's moving far, far away and frankly, I'm kind of happy about it.
But then again, I KNOW that if I am Uber Bitch, I'll get all nostalgic in a few years and play the, "I wonder whatever happened to ..." game in my head.
HA!
Then I'll call my best friend and she'll remind me how awful the subject of my nostaligia was and we'll devolve into junior high derisions of character, cackle wickedly, and hang up the phone laughing.
Damn, I wish I had a King Size Reeces Peanut Butter Cup.
I am Candy Jones today and so I have to go to the kitchen and see what candy left-overs are hanging out, waiting for me to eat their little, candy hearts.
arizonasarah at 9:03 a.m.