2005-09-23
GROSS
I got my burrito and I ate it and I feel REALLY sick now.
Way to go, champ.
I also have a head full of snot, my least favorite bodily fluid, and a giant snot cloud is pressing on my right eyeball and making it cry tears of discomfort. I wonder if meteorology and sinus activity are related fields of study. If not, someone should get on that. People have snot surges and sinus freezes and all kinds of weather-like conditions that happen up in the facial and bronchial cavities.
But the main issue is the burrito.
Never.
Again.
I'm light-headed because I'm so grossed out right now from the burrito and the snot and could I go home?
No, not really.
Even if I could, a puppy with boundless energy is most likely not going to have any kind of sympathetic actions for me because I'm quite certain that Rosie would gnaw off her tail if it was in the way of her getting a burrito and snarfing it down in 8.3 seconds.
Burrito, dead bird, pumice stone, nail file... Rosie will go to great lengths in order to satisfy her cravings.
I, on the other hand, am done with cravings for a very long time.
Besides feeling very sick, I feel like my chins just doubled and the back of my knees are oozing like a Dali drawing into the floor beneath me.
I'm just disgusted with the fat and the snot and the chorizo breath and the hair that had to be put up because of the forgotten brush.
God I feel like I can feel the sides of my stomach against my arms while I type. That better be a combination of the company-flavored golf shirt and Work Appropriate Jeans, aka Mom Jeans Lite. If that thing brushing against my forearm is belly-fat, than I am going to start shoving burritos down, one-after-the-next so I can gain the 200 more pounds that I need for gastric bypass surgery.
Sick.
Great: here comes a Nose Freeze and my right eye is going to cloud over with a snot-super-cell, causing my to lose feeling in my lip area for the duration of the snot surge.
Ack.
I am disgusted with my physical state right now. The levees have broken in the Crescent of my Sinuses. If I wasn't positive that lying on my couch would make matters worse, in that the snot would just sit, grapefruit-in-a-bowl-like on my eyeball socket, I would go home right now. Unfortunately, I wouldn't be able to lie on the couch with a PlayStation Controller in one hand and the other hand resting protectively on a box of Kleenex. I would want to lie there, blowing my nose every 4 minutes and conveniently dropping used tissues on the floor. My dumb dog will eat used tissues, or anything else that isn't in a safe, buried into poured concrete and painted over with lead paint. Used-tissue eating disgusts me even more than the thought of anything burrito-oriented and could possibly cause me to lose my slender temper with her. A teenage rebellion would ensue, and I'm pretty sure that if I were to go home now, I would lie on that couch and drop those snot rags and I would not care if Rosie snacked on them and then she'd get sick and the dog throw-up would be the one thing that I DO smell... yesh. I've got stop thinking about it all.
GROSS.
I feel GROSS.
But I might be moving to Las Vegas.
I know!
Right?
Never in a million years would I have thought that I would consider living in Sin City... and yet... it's opportunity that I would be a fool to pass on right now.
And I am totally ready to give up the burritos here. That's really not going to be a problem at all.
arizonasarah at 10:15 a.m.