2007-05-10
Three-Year Planning Part 1
My mom just told me that I need a three year plan.
After I got control over the hysteria that rose into my throat, I realized that this is probably impossible.
I don't have furniture.
I look like a Belle Epoch trend whore since my pasty face is falling off.
I don't know how it happened that I started living the hell out of my available cash and spending the last five or six days of a pay period with funds in the mere double digits. But I did.
I haven't really been in love, like comfortable full-time love in five years.
My desk at work is iconic for the amount of food particles that are found in the keyboard.
I need a haircut, real bad.
A three year plan?
Is she crazy?
Here are the only options that I can reasonably consider:
1. Get married and THEN make a three-year plan. I would totally only marry someone who is better at three-year-planning so.... man up, dudes. I'm vibrant, I'm in my prime, and I love doing laundry.
Most importantly, I'm fucking sick of planning for only myself. I want to consider someone besides my dog when I decide to go to Phoenix or turn on the cooler.
2. Find a scientist who has a time machine and who can get me back to 1988.
With age-reduction.
I would so do it all over again and I would SO do things differently.
Mostly I would stand up for myself in any number of situations and I would allow a little bit more of the truth out about my extremely vulnerable nature so that maybe, just maybe, a fuckload of teachers and parents would have been more gentle.
I've always been a pretty decent actress and I would do things again without the fake lie of an "I don't care/fuck you" attitude.
I cared every time.
I get that I could have acted like I cared maybe, like, once and gotten the positive attention that I craved.
So I could dig some time-travel as a three-year plan.
3. Continuing on in my current condition. This is a plan, you know. If you plan to do nothing different than you've got a plan.
The only thing I would change is that I'd like to work from home a few days a week, or mostly really.
I could do that in my current job.
I've got a 5 month plan to figure out how to plant the seed and a 1 year plan to make it happen.
This gives me plenty of time to get some furniture, which would obviously make working at home more ideal.
Working at home would save me a lot of dough in gas money and a lot of prep time.
Studies show that people who work from home actually work MORE.
No problem.
I could make coffee for me and have private use of my own big kitchen.
I would not feel guilty about my doglet.
I would not need to shower first-thing in the morning.
Instead of taking a break to check on celebrity gossip, I could take a break to run the vacuum and the fact that I hadn't run the vacuum and the floor is downright disgusting wouldn't gnaw at me the way it is gnawing right this very second.
I would no longer feel guilty for buying cool tee-shirts and work-out shorts instead of the summer black pants that I desperately need and have not purchased.
I would work more.
Actually, I think this is a distinct possibility.
Laugh all you want, but I am a freak when it comes to ethics and checking things out before going off half-cocked, only because of having learned the hard way.
But yeah... working at home has become a pretty serious goal for my near future.
As for an actual three-year plan?
When I think about it, I get kind of short of breath and sweaty.
Although this physical description is admittedly how I spend a lot of my time, I see no reason to exacerbate the innate trauma by asking for plans.
Fuck man, I can't even plan for my weekend because I'm working with like $23.
arizonasarah at 9:39 a.m.