True Stories

It is 10 am and people are complaining to me about the most random and stupid shit I have ever heard in my life!
"Did I tell you that I am still having trouble accessing the Internet? It's very slow. The IT guy looked at it."
"Did he say it was fixed?"
No response.
Look man, I'm sorry that your browser is slow but there's not a fuck-load of a lot I can do about it. I don't have some special Bat Phone to the IT department and therefore can't use said Bat Phone to make your browser issue the Number One priority at IT. I wish they would fix it for you, believe me, but in the meantime; when you have questions about your functionality, please tell me everything that's going on and don't pick on me for your issue's very existance.
Then this one:
"I'm having trouble logging on and I'm pissed about it."
"Okay, what happens when you log on?"
"It doesn't work."
"Well, you enter your username and..."
"...my user name and password and the login screen just sits there - it never moves and this has been going on for awhile."
Dallas theme song in the background.
"Oh! Sarah, hold on a sec."
"Hello? Honey, I told you to please bring the recycling bin back up to the garage or this would happen. Look, just... okay. Okay... That's fine. Look, I have to go. Love you, too."
Meanwhile, in my head:
Are you fucking kidding me and you're angry with me because you can't log in efficiently? Get me the fuck out of here before I fucking collapse in a fit of anger and frustration!
"Okay, I'm back."
"Uh huh. So you log in and it sits there and are you able to get in eventually?"
"Well, I have to get under my desk and shut the damn thing off."
"And then you're able to get in?"
"Yes. Just get someone to look at it."
I waited 2 hours before I called it in to IT.

I'm making bold moves this week. More on that later but for now:
Bike Tip of the Week!
Yes, it's Monday morning, that time when I bring to you, from the annals of experience, the Bike Tip of The Week!
"When you set out to ride at 6:45 and the sun is not up, make sure that you test the outside temperature before wearing your work shirt under your super-awesome Nike hoodie. It may be warmer than it looks and you risk a real sweat phenomenon by not checking the temp before heading out. You could get to work and have your back be noticibly drenched in your own sweat and you'd be forced to put a black sweater over your predominately navy and beige outfit. Then you'd have to laugh and tell people how cold you are, hence the black sweater, as you feel a little trickle of your own, cold sweat roll right down the middle of your back."

arizonasarah at 10:08 a.m.

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