Throughly Above Everything Sarah

Something's rotten in the State of Denmark.
I definitely smell betrayal and deception.

I'm not going to get away with creatively taking a moment of my life and making it seem funnier and more sarcasticly wise than it really is today.
I've had actual work to do for three days and I'm not feeling funny.
Saracastic, always.
Funny, not today.
The Lite Rock creaming through the over-head speakers has been fraying my nerves all week. At the beginning of the year, in January, they added a few things to the rotation. I'm sure some other things came out but in January, I started hearing Blondie around 3 in the afternoon, and that was new.
Also, Hungry Eyes, from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack moved from early afternoon to straight-up morning. "Sad Eyes" has not lost it's drive-time, primo spot at 4 pm.
I've also noticed that they play every single Celine Dion hit and they play them every, single day. I know this because no matter how quietly the supposedly soothing music comes into my cube, I can hear that freak bellowing. Journey hits have gone from being something I look forward to, to being something I dread. Every day, I hear all of the Journey ballad hits and although I NEVER thought I would proclaim to be tired of a classic rock band, I am tired of Journey.
Thanks, Lite Rock Station.
I didn't need this.
I think it's totally time to write a letter to the formulaic radio 'hos. There are admittedly plenty of somgs that not only do I like, but I'll even cop to liking them.
Kenny Loggins?
Huey Louis?
Yes and hell yes. I like those artists. Play more. Play more Chicago, play more Pure Prairie League but dammit, No MORE CELINE.
Man, I'll even negotiate with these machines that are better known as "corporate radio formatters": You can have 2 Celines per day. We'll call it your Per Celineum. If you choose to punch in numbers 1,788,044,301 and 1,788,069,824 when you are programming the great, big machine that "spins" the "hits" all day long, you better hope that you don't accidentally press "Send to Afternoon" for both of them. You like Celine Dion a whooooooole lot and it would be a shame if you had to first of all, wait to hear the madness until 2:27 and then secondly, you hear it again at 3:33 and then your Per Celineum is up and you get no more.
That would be a problem, now wouldn't it?
I need to hone this idea. What I actually need to do chart how many fucking times this station repeats an artist and the patterns at which it happens. I bet it's totally a bell curve of 20th and 21st century pop musicology. The bell curve would be "music that in no way, shape of for can be considered offensive", with Insane Clown Posse on one end and Phil Collins on the other.

I'm going to go get in my Bitchin' Honda and listen to KXCI.
Hopefully that station won't be playing some kind of womyns' drumming circle song that was recorded live! at Burning Man in '97.

arizonasarah at 4:12 p.m.

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