2005-09-27
I'm Helping. God. Leave Me Alone.
Suppressing
the urge
to
kill.
My shoulders are lodged well-into my eardrums right now, so if you are a supervisor or someone else who needs to talk to me.
Now.
Forget it.
I won't be able to hear you anyway. I am TENSE in ways that I don't even get TENSE. I'm not even CRYING is how TENSE I am.
Some people, who shall remain nameless, are very possessive of my time. I got called onto an emergency situation, you know emergency in the confines of the Cubicle Castle, which although it may feel like the end is near and the raiding nomads are splashing gleefully across the moat; you guessed it, it ain't shit.
But I played along. I went and was helpful, which is totally against my nature and I was totally talking to myself and cursing under my breath and when this old employee brought her kid in, I coughed very loudly so that the little, "Oh so cute, how old? Can I hold him?" bs could be avoided.
Score!
No lie... sometimes I really don't like children at all.
No lie... most of the time I don't like children all that much.
I like words and children can say, what? "Up?" There's this mythology that kids really like me and I like it's the creation of my mother and some well-meaning aunts. The children and I understand that we kind of don't like each other at all. They are onto me about not being an actual grown-up and I am onto them about not knowing how to wipe properly and we're all a little grossed out.
But if you ever need to avoid some children, start coughing and their parents will veer right by your desk with a wave and you can stay seated, immersed in your spreadsheet, worrying only about your own snot and not that of some grubby toddler.
Yeah.
So I helped out, against my actual wishes and that's cool. I scored some Office Politics points, so that skill level is also increasing on the Play Station 2 Console of my life.
Sweet.
I'm totally starting to think of myself as a Sim.
I wonder how long I can maintain this and how far I can get with it. I'm going to start singing weird, almost familiar songs while I perform the activities of daily life. And while I work.
I'm helping, I'm cursing quietly, I'm avoiding children, and little do I know that someone with whom I work is sending a very rude email to which I responded, when it came time for that:
"Dude,
It's under control. You can have this afternoon, as opposed to this morning because I am helping with an emergency in another department. One that make a shit-ton more money than ours does."
No, I didn't really say that last part but you know I thought it.
Sigh.
Every year I'm whining for things to do for what feels like forever and every year, January 1 lurks like a great big invisible monster and my office turns into an episode of Lost and you know�
Where's the Hatch?
If I could just find the freaking hatch around here, I know I have enough points as a Sim to get in there and figure out how to control the island and eventually, the island next door as well.
My Sim is late turning in a project, and I'm not talkin' about my Kristin Cavalleri Sim, I mean the Sim that I am in my alternate universe.
Also, my Sim has not been emailing all day with a Superfan, so it could be that she just needs to move to the phone, dial services, pizza, fire, police, Mona, or Dudley and get herself some interaction points.
Oh crap, this dudes wife just went to the hospital, supposedly to birth a kid and I've got to go act all happy and I am not even kidding here.
Timing is nothing to sneeze at.
Although I can't really stand children, I hope they all come out okay.
I also hope they know that I will start coughing the day that thing comes into my personal space.
arizonasarah at 1:32 p.m.